We have recently explored the issue of the delayed feedback as we stated in some previous articles that there is a time dimension to human communication that is often neglected by the parties and most often is neglected by the party that has more power in the relationship. But how does this does come into play from a psychological point of view?
Initiator View
As we discussed in previous articles the purpose of any communication between two humans is a kind of feedback – the feedback can be explicit or implied, or even both. But the central idea here, is that the person that initiates a communication action is expecting some kind of a feedback. When speaking about communication I don’t like the idea of a Transmitter and a Receiver as it is often presented in the communication theory, because in fact we are shifting throughout the both roles during a face to face or a different communication channel.
I like more the idea of a person that is initiating the communication and a person that is continuing the communication process. This person has the responsibility of setting the psychological environment of the process. The Continuator can respond by maintaining or by changing the psychological environment simply by maintaining/ changing the nonverbal and verbal emotional cues provided by the Initiator.
What we do need to understand here, is that the Initiator has the opportunity to set the stage for the psychological dimension of the communication. For instance, if a person starts a discussion in a aggressive manner, the aggressiveness will be further perpetuated during the communication through feedback and relatedness to the subject.
The continuator can change the psychological environment through feedback and fear, but this requires a good self awareness and a good control of communication techniques that most of the people in a day to day environment do not possess. It can became more complicated if the communication channel allows delayed feedback.
Photo: Even if we do not hear any conversation we can make some inferences of the communication environment between the two women in the picture
Expectation
What kind of feedback do you expect when you initiate a conversation? Most of the expectations fall into the spectre between acceptance, approval, denial, rejection.
For example when you ask a question and expect an answer – the answer itself is a measure of acceptance or approval in your brain, beside the meaning of the word.
But add now a time dimension to the answer. What does it mean if the answer comes right away? What does it mean for you if the answer is delayed? What if it is delayed to the limit that you do not expect an answer anymore?
Did you interpret it as a personal rejection? What meaning does it have for you?
You get it? There is a psychological response that your brain creates. You can use this. Or not.
Power dimension
Now let’s add some power-play. I will give you an example.
Imagine you are asking your boss for a rise, by sending her an e-mail explaining all your latest contributions to the company profits. You sent the message in a Monday morning at 9:00.
Did you get an imediate message and then she asks you to meet imediate for a discussion? How does this changes your psychology? What do you feel? What do you think?
What if it is the end of the day, you met her on the hallway, but there is no answer to your e-mail. What are you thinking of?
Maybe an e-mail asking for a rise would be an extreme. But the same brain circuit activates whenever you expect a feedback to an initiated communication whose channel allows some kind of delay.
What if you demand an answer to a certain time, but you do not receive it? Who has the power? What if you receive a message right away but you decide to answer tomorrow? Who has the power now?
Of course we can develop on the psychological power but I think you’ve got the idea, There is power in deciding the response time in case of a communication channel that allows delay.
I believe that the upper your position in a company, the more predictable you need to become in order to be a good leader and to reduce the power play in a delayed communication environment.
Cultural Dimension
You also need to take into account a cultural dimension to the communication process. The communication takes place in an environment that has its own accepted customs and patterns. In some organisations it is expected to answer right away. In other organisations it is normal to let some time pass. Sometimes the unwritten rules are part of what you need to expect.
In the end of the article, we would like to ask you to take a short poll. This way we can both learn about the expectations regarding the expected delay of an e-mail message, e-mail being probably one of the most used communication channels in a corporate environment.
A short poll. What is your time expectation toward e-mail?
Did you like the article?
If yes, help us spread the word! Share it to someone you think would learn something out of it. Share it on social media, or why not subscribe to our newsletter. Or send us a message, telling us what you liked so that we can write interesting articles in the future.